selfish

sometimes i feel that i let people know too much on how i feel at times. i update people on my life so often that stalkers would be out of a job/hobby.


ive told my secrets, fears, doubts, trials, weaknesses, joys, comforts, and sadness with so many people. i made it a code that i do not tell everything to one person. in the comics world, that never works out because the person that knows either dies or turns evil. not that im afraid of that happening in a probable circumstance, but i guess im afraid of one person knowing too much. ive basically told all of me to most of my friends. i swear if they had a secret conference or meeting and patched all the things ive told them, they'd have the whole picture of me. scary thought.


i wish i had someone to care for, to be selfish about. don't get me wrong. i love my friends and family to death but i guess its super dif. with an S.O. when you're with your s.o things just change. your priorities are altered and suddenly you aren't the most important person in your life. i admit its hard work trying to love another person as an equal, but know this: i love hard work and i love challenges.

even though i haven't talked to you in a while God im putting this one in your hands for sure. show me someone that will knock down my door, send me crashing down. you don't have to make her perfect, you don't have to make her the hottest girl in the world, and you don't even have to make me like her at first.

i just ask that you let me grow to love her, let me learn to fulfill her needs, and let her know shes my one and everything.


and..

*sigh

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