wrote a revealing post

published it, then later decided it was too much so i took it off. if u were lucky enough to see it, then u know a good deal of whats bothering me. if not, then oh well.


ill just write this passage instead:
i thought it was unbreakable. like a intense chemical bond that resisted separation. i guess we still enjoy occasional close proximity but the key word is occasional. we were supposed to be different than the rest, set apart from the crowd. we marveled and gloried over ourselves and saw pillar after pillar fall on the outside. now, like a virus, something has struck from within, or maybe from multiple points, causing us to slowly weaken. we're still alive, but only in segregated parts, no longer a cohesive whole. one is the number we deem safe enough to say that its okay. one is the number that keeps our feet moving and our appearances happy. whoever is doing this has stuck some good players. you got me, you got her, you got him, and even her. or does that make us feel better to say that it was from the outside? maybe our own weakening is our fault. it may not be the same, but this player does not quit. he fights until the last step and the last breath. morale is low, but nothing a little love and time can't fix. hang in there 43's


oh and btw, MERRY XMAS =D